Quotes to Help You Deal Only with What You CAN Control
Jan 25, 2023 • 16 min read
We are constantly bombarded with information. We hear it in our newsfeeds, we see it on social media, and we read it online. We constantly face uncontrollable circumstances in our everyday life and thanks to social media seeing these things is unavoidable. But how do we know whether something is true or false? How do we know if what we’re reading is really worth believing? And what happens when we believe things without evidence? Do we become victims of fake news?
We can’t control most aspects of life but we can control how we respond!
We all know that life isn’t fair. You can’t control what happens to you. But there are things you can do to make sure you don’t become bitter because of what happened to you. And one of the best ways to do that is to focus on the good times in your life. Here are three tips to help you let go of the negatives and embrace the positives.
#1 – Focus On What You Can Control
When we think about our lives we often fixate on negative aspects of them rather focusing on the positive ones, says Dr. Robert Glover, author of “The Power Of Positive Thinking.” He suggests that we can’t always change what happens to our lives, but we can choose whether or not we want to respond to it.
For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, you might feel angry and frustrated. Or maybe you just smile and wave goodbye. Either way, you can decide how you want to handle the situation. If you’re feeling down about it, you could dwell on the fact that you got cut off. But if you’re feeling happy, you could look at the bright side and see it as a learning experience.
#2 – Don’t Dwell On Your Past Mistakes
If you keep thinking about the mistakes you’ve made in the past, you’ll never learn anything from them. Instead, try to look at them objectively. For instance, if you’re having trouble getting out of debt, you could ask yourself why you fell into debt in the first place. Was it because you didn’t save enough money? Were you spending too much money? Maybe you had some health issues that caused you to lose your job. Whatever the reason, take responsibility for your actions and figure out how you can avoid making those same mistakes again.
#3 – Accept Things As They Are Now
In today’s world, where there are so many sources of information, it’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t. So how do we separate fact from fiction? Here are some life quotes to help you deal only with what you can control.
1. “The best way out is always through.” —Robert Frost
2. “If you don’t like the weather in Boston, wait five minutes; it’ll change.” —George Santayana
3. “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good enough.” —Steve Jobs
4. “You must learn to love the questions themselves, for they are part of the territory of knowledge, and to look upon every question as an opportunity.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
5. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” —Maya Angelou
6. “I am responsible for my actions; I alone am accountable.” – Albert Einstein
7. “The secret of happiness lies in taking responsibility for everything that goes wrong in your life.” – Dale Carnegie
8. “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” – Jim Rohn
9. “You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – Christopher Columbus
10. “Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” – Charles Swindoll
11. “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell
12. 1. “Don’t worry about what you can’t control. Our focus and energy needs to be on the things we can control. Attitude, effort, focus- these are the things we can control…” – Tim Tebow
13. “If you look deeply into nature, you will find that everything is in ceaseless change; nothing endures except the eternal cycle of life and death. This is true of people as well as plants and animals. Nothing endures except our thoughts, feelings, memories, desires, hopes, fears, dreams, ambitions, and aspirations. All these pass away like leaves in autumn. But our innermost being does not die. It goes on living forever.” – Norman Vincent Peale
14. “One of the most rewarding and important moments in life Is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.” – Unknown
15. “If you focus on what you can’t control, you’re a little crazy inside, angry and depressed. If you focus most of the time on what you don’t have instead of what you do have, you’re going to be extremely unhappy.” – Tony Robbins
16. “Have big dreams but focus only on what you can control: your own thoughts, words, and actions. This was Gandhi’s way … in the words of Buddhist poet Gary Snyder, our job is to move the world a millionth of an inch.” – Eboo Patel
17. “Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” – Steve Maraboli
18. “Success at anything will always come down to this: focus and effort. And we control both.” – Dwayne Johnson
19. “You need to focus on getting where you need to be and not worry about what could have been and what should have been.” – Robbie Lawler
20. “If you can’t do anything about it, don’t worry about it.” – Jeanne Calment
21. “I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside.” – Wayne Dyer
22. “You cannot control all of what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward all of what happens to you…You can choose to be happy and grateful rather than disappointed and bitter, by focusing on how it could have turned out worse but didn’t, rather than how it could have turned out better but didn’t.” – Brian Tracy
23. “We cannot control the way people interpret our ideas or thoughts, but we can control the words and tones we choose to convey them. Peace is built on understanding, and wars are built on misunderstandings. Never underestimate the power of a single word, and never recklessly throw around words. One wrong word, or misinterpreted word, can change the meaning of an entire sentence and start a war. And one right word, or one kind word, can grant you the heavens and open doors.” – Suzy Kassem
24. “I learned long ago to focus on things you can control and don’t even pay attention to things you don’t.” – Bryan Cranston
In his book, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, author Daniel Goleman explains why focusing on the things we can control leads to greater success. He says that people are often too busy worrying about things over which they have no control to actually do anything productive. This mindset creates stress and anxiety because we feel like we’re always behind schedule. We worry about everything from our health to our relationships to whether we’ll ever find a job. But if we want to accomplish great things, we must learn to let go of those things we can’t control. Our brains simply aren’t built for multitasking. When we try to do multiple tasks at once, we become distracted and lose focus. So, if we want to succeed, we need to stop trying to control everything and just focus on the things we can influence.
25. “The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.” – Charles Darwin
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Focus on What You Can Control, Leave What You Can't - Becoming Who You Are
We all want to feel like life is under our control, but sometimes there are external factors out of our hands that affect us. This week I’m sharing some tips on how you can take charge of your life and become the person you want to be.
When we focus on what we CAN control, we gain confidence, clarity, and power over our situation. When we focus on what WE CAN’T control, we lose confidence, clarity, and control over our situation.
We can control our input, but we can't control the outcome
The old saying “we can control our input, and not our output,” is true. But there are times when we feel like we’re being controlled by our output. We worry about things we cannot do anything about. We stress over things that we cannot control. And sometimes we even become paralyzed because we think we can’t do anything about whatever situation we find ourselves in.
But there’s another way to look at this. You can control your input. You can choose whether to respond positively or negatively to situations. You can decide whether to focus on the things you can influence or the things you can’t control. There’s no reason to give up on life just because you’ve been dealt some tough cards. If you want to improve your life, you must learn to control your input.
Focusing on what we can't control often takes our energy and attention away from what we can control
The old saying “we can control our input, and not our output,” is true. But there are times when we feel like we’re being controlled by our output. We worry about things we cannot do anything about. We stress over things that we cannot control. And sometimes we even become paralyzed because we think we can’t do anything about whatever situation we find ourselves in.
But there’s another way to look at this. You can control your input. You can choose whether to respond positively or negatively to situations. You can decide whether to focus on the things you can influence or the things you can’t control. There’s no reason to give up on life just because you’ve been dealt some tough cards. If you want to improve your life, you must learn to control your input.
When we focus on what we can control, we don't worry as much about what we can't
The number one thing I’ve learned over the course of my career is that there are three main areas where we can influence our lives:
1. Our thoughts
2. Our actions
3. Our environment
Let me explain…
We often hear people say “I’m stressed.” But stress isn’t just something that happens to us; it’s actually a choice. We choose whether we think positively or negatively. We choose whether we act positively or negatively. And we choose whether we surround ourselves with positive energy or negative energy.
So, if you want to stop stressing, start thinking positively, acting positively, and creating a positive environment around you. You won’t believe how quickly you’ll begin to feel better.
What can you control?
As a business owner, it can be challenging to stay focused on only what you can control, uncontrollable externals have a way of popping into your head. So focus on what you can control like hiring a good team that will help you achieve your goals and keep you motivated and on the right track.
You need to make sure your team is constantly performing and reaching their targets and goals, and one way to keep good track of this is through the DigiWorks platform. DigiWorks connects business owners with talent from emerging countries. The upside to this is that the pre-vetted and assessed talent is not only super qualified and capable but also available at a fraction of the cost of the US minimum wage. The different time zones also allow them to work flexible hours and they are able to cover whatever peak times your business and team need coverage.
Psychological Tricks That Will Help You Stop Worrying About Things You Can't Control
Worrying stems from a feeling of loss of control. When we worry, we feel like we are out of control. This makes it hard to enjoy life because we think everything around us is out of our hands. But there are ways to gain control over your thoughts and emotions. Here are some tips to help you do just that.
1. Identify What Is Within Your Control
When we face problems, we often become overwhelmed by the scale of the challenge. If we try to tackle every problem head-on, we’ll never finish anything. Instead, we should identify what is within our control. For example, if we know we’ve been procrastinating, we could start working on something now. Or if we are anxious about speaking up in front of others, we could practice beforehand. Once we identify what is within our power, we can take action.
2. Learn to Cope With Our Feelings
We shouldn’t avoid dealing with our feelings. In fact, learning how to deal with our feelings can actually help us to relax. By acknowledging our feelings, we can begin to understand ourselves better. Then we can work towards changing our behavior. One way to change our behavior is to meditate. Research suggests that meditation reduces stress and anxiety, which leads to less worry.
3. Focus On Solving Problems Rather Than Worrying About Them
Instead of worrying about what we don’t have control over, we should focus on what we can control. For example, we might decide to ask someone else to go to dinner with us tonight. Or we might make sure we have enough money saved up to pay off our debt. These actions will allow us to move forward and give us a sense of control.
4. Schedule time to worry
Worrying is an emotion we all feel. There is research that shows worrying helps us control our emotions, and scheduling time to worry gives us the feeling of having some control over our emotions. But what happens when we worry too much? Does it make things worse? And does scheduling time to worry help us cope with stress?
Research suggests that worrying too much actually makes things worse. We know that worrying about something makes us think about it even more, making us more anxious. In fact, people who are worried tend to experience more negative thoughts, such as “I am not good enough,” and “Things could go wrong.”
When we worry too much, we often find ourselves ruminating on the same thing over and over again. This repetitive thinking leads to feelings of anxiety and depression. So how do we stop worrying?
The answer is simple. You just need to give yourself permission to worry. If you want to worry, you must allow yourself to do so. Just like you might schedule time to exercise, eat healthy food, take care of your health, or spend quality time with friends and family, you can schedule time to worry.
You don’t have to worry every day. Instead, set aside one hour each week to worry. Then, once you’ve scheduled your worries, you’ll be able to focus on the task at hand without being distracted by your worries.
If you’re struggling to decide whether to worry or not, consider the following questions:
1. Do I really need to worry about this now?
Build Your Mental Muscle
When we are under stress, it’s easy to fall into negative thinking patterns. We start blaming ourselves for things that aren’t our fault. Or we become overly critical of others. These are just some examples of how we begin to think negatively about ourselves and those around us.
We don’t always realize we’re doing this, especially when we’re caught up in the moment. But once we recognize that we’ve fallen victim to negative thought patterns, we can do something about it.
By focusing on what we can control, we can build mental muscle. This allows us to better manage our emotions and respond positively to situations rather than reactively.
The next time you find yourself falling into a negative cycle, try one of these tips to help you regain your composure:
1. Breathe deeply. Take several slow breaths while counting to four.
2. Focus on what you can control – your actions. If someone else is causing you stress, decide whether you want to change the situation or accept it.
3. Remind yourself why you’re upset. Is there a reason behind your anger? What happened to make you feel this way?
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Conclusion
Focusing only on what we can control requires discipline, organization, and conviction—all qualities that come naturally to some people while being foreign to others. In fact, there are many different ways to be productive, depending on one’s personality type. While it can be challenging to stay focused on only what we can control, there are many ways to motivate yourself to get back on track, and reading inspirational quotes and following successful people you admire is one place to start. We hope these quotes gave you some motivation and inspiration!
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About DigiWorks
DigiWorks is an easy-to-use platform that helps small businesses and start ups hire amazing remote talent from around the world. DigiWorks offers a way for you to hire, manage and pay people from all countries. If you find an amazing virtual assistant from Philippines, a content writer from Nigeria, or operations manager from South Africa – manage and pay your entire team from one platform with no hassle.
If you’re looking for a more affordable and sustainable option you might consider making use of a hiring platform like DigiWorks. Virtual assistant companies or platforms like DigiWorks are amazing as they not only match you with pre-vetted and assessed remote workers that can take care of all your business needs but they will also handle all onboarding and payroll needs as well.